It's a pundemic.
Humor is essential to coping through tough times. Shared laughter gives us strength in adversity and can help us feel a bit more in control when the future looks uncertain. Most important, funny jokes — even funny coronavirus and quarantine jokes — bring us together and help us to feel connected, one pandemic quarantine pod to another. And laughter literally makes us stronger: Recent studies have found that a good laugh can boost our dopamine levels and even shore up our immune systems.
The Joke Game is the EASIEST way to have a hilarious party. It's the one game where EVERYBODY gets to be a comedian! 21st Birthday Jokes 'My advice for a 21-year-old: Don't drink and vote.' 21st birthday jokes, for that special rite of passage when the child becomes an adult in body and in.sometimes not much else. Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:59 am Birthday Contest Day #06 - Birthday related jokes (CLOSED) Dear Crushers, Continuing celebrations for our 14th year since we started we have at least 1 extra daily contest until 15th December, after which we build up to the festive period of Christmas and have daily contests relating to Christmas.
So, while we all obviously continue to take COVID-19 very seriously, and follow the recommendations from the CDC and the WHO, we also need to laugh and to have a few moments in the day that feel lighter. A few pandemic jokes might just take your mind off the apocalypse-adjacent state of the world and serve as a reminder that there's always something, however small, to smile about. From convos with pets to lock down spins on the classic knock-knocks, here are some of the funniest quarantine jokes on the internet.
Funniest Quarantine Jokes
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken behind it didn't know how to socially distance properly.
- Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, 'Mine are so good at social distancing, they won't even call me.'
- Who's idea was it to sing 'Happy Birthday' while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.
- My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, 'Throw this and wherever it lands—that's where I'm taking you when this pandemic ends.' Turns out, we're spending two weeks behind the fridge.
- Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
- My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I'm saving the world!
- After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn't the reason.
- If I keep stress-eating at this level, the buttons on my shirt will start socially distancing from each other.
- Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
- Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent. Then it Dawned on me.
- Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder
- I never thought the comment 'I wouldn't touch them with a six-foot pole' would become a national policy, but here we are!
- The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
- Since we're all in quarantine I guess we'll be making only inside jokes from now on.
- I'm not talking to myself, I'm having a parent-teacher conference.
- This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog–we laughed a lot.
- Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.
- I finished Netflix today.
- Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic? Bitch read the room.
- – Knock knock. Who is there? Seriously, don't touch my door and get back 6 meters to social distance.
- Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, 'See? This is why I chew the furniture!'
Funniest Coronavirus Jokes
- Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It's a long story….
- You know what they're saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
- What's the best way to avoid touching your face? A glass of wine in each hand.
- If coronavirus isn't about beer, why do I keep seeing cases of it?
- What's the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One's the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
- What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst-kase scenario.
- Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
- You know who buys up all the toilet paper? Assholes.
- Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It's about to get ugly out there.
- Why don't chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? They're in bad taste.
- What should you do if you don't understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient.
- The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that's left is de brie.
- I'll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you'll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
- Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
- What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late.
- Still no toilet paper in the stores. They're wiped out and you're shit out of luck.
- So many coronavirus jokes out there, it's a pundemic.
- What did the man say to the bartender? I'll have a corona, hold the virus.
- If there's a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
- Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
- I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
- Yeah, I have plans tonight. I'll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.
- Why didn't the sick guy get the joke? It flu over his head.
- 30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.
- What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine? Inside jokes!
- You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
- What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Mac and sneeze.
- Where do sick boats go to get healthy? The dock!
Want to wish your friend birthday in a hilarious way, just use some of these cool quotes
First below are written quotes,
To directly view image birthday quotes just scroll below !
Casino Birthday Jokes One-liners
It is always to nice celebrate the birthday of your loved ones with nice and meaningful quotes that will make them feel that they are loved and cared for.
Below are some of the funny birthday quotes.
•May your life be long and useful like a tissue paper so that whenever you unroll a day it always brings you success and victory.
• May you live as long as the earth exist.
•May you live to complete the circuit of life,hoping to see you one day when you are one month old starting another circle of life.
•You should celebrate everyday like it is your birthday because life is too short to let a day go.
•You know you are getting old when instead of blowing of a candle,you put it off with your saliva because your lungs are too old to produce air.
•A year has 365 days but it is only a day that you receive presents and birthday wishes,yet some people only miss to wish you,here is a special wish from me.
•All the world is a birthday cake so take a piece of it but not too much,a piece is sweet but all of it is poison.
- Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It's a long story….
- You know what they're saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
- What's the best way to avoid touching your face? A glass of wine in each hand.
- If coronavirus isn't about beer, why do I keep seeing cases of it?
- What's the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One's the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
- What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst-kase scenario.
- Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
- You know who buys up all the toilet paper? Assholes.
- Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It's about to get ugly out there.
- Why don't chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? They're in bad taste.
- What should you do if you don't understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient.
- The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that's left is de brie.
- I'll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you'll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
- Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
- What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late.
- Still no toilet paper in the stores. They're wiped out and you're shit out of luck.
- So many coronavirus jokes out there, it's a pundemic.
- What did the man say to the bartender? I'll have a corona, hold the virus.
- If there's a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
- Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
- I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
- Yeah, I have plans tonight. I'll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.
- Why didn't the sick guy get the joke? It flu over his head.
- 30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.
- What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine? Inside jokes!
- You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
- What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Mac and sneeze.
- Where do sick boats go to get healthy? The dock!
Want to wish your friend birthday in a hilarious way, just use some of these cool quotes
First below are written quotes,
To directly view image birthday quotes just scroll below !
Casino Birthday Jokes One-liners
It is always to nice celebrate the birthday of your loved ones with nice and meaningful quotes that will make them feel that they are loved and cared for.
Below are some of the funny birthday quotes.
•May your life be long and useful like a tissue paper so that whenever you unroll a day it always brings you success and victory.
• May you live as long as the earth exist.
•May you live to complete the circuit of life,hoping to see you one day when you are one month old starting another circle of life.
•You should celebrate everyday like it is your birthday because life is too short to let a day go.
•You know you are getting old when instead of blowing of a candle,you put it off with your saliva because your lungs are too old to produce air.
•A year has 365 days but it is only a day that you receive presents and birthday wishes,yet some people only miss to wish you,here is a special wish from me.
•All the world is a birthday cake so take a piece of it but not too much,a piece is sweet but all of it is poison.
•You know you are getting old when the birthday candle is more expensive than the cake itself.
•In any birthday,people need your presence more than the presents,so availing yourself is a present in presences.
•The best way to celebrate your wife birthday is to do it once.
•Being old is not a sin,happy birthday .
•Many people remember presents more than the years they have while celebrating their birthdays.
•It is a good feeling when you forget your birthday and someone remembers it for you.
•We ought to grow up and make the wrinkles our medals of the life we have come through,they are us and what makes us celebrate each birthday.
Casino Birthday Jokes Images
•The more you enjoy and celebrate your life,the more is in life to celebrate.
•Every year in your birthday you can an opportunity to start a fresh.
•How can you celebrate your birthday if you don't know your years.
Now here are funny birthday image quotes
Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes #bday quotes
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Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes #bday wishing
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Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes #best
Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes #birthday quotations
Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes #birthday quotes
Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes #birthday sayings
Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes #birthday wishes
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Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes #wishing
Top 20 Very Funny Birthday Quotes
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